A Letter from Chris Suarez
LOSE INTEREST. FIND COMMITMENT.
It’s the time of year when we really have a clear picture of where we will end up relative to the personal and business goals we set for this year.
It’s also the time of year when we really begin to paint the picture of where we want to end up relative to the personal and business goals we will set for the coming year.
As you begin to do so, just four words of advice: Lose Interest. Find commitment.
Let me illustrate it this way. All of us at one time or another have dated. Maybe you only dated one person in your life and are still with that same person. Perhaps you have dated many people over many years. And perhaps you have dated many people…all at the same time.
Regardless, we all remember that first time we were interested in someone new. We also clearly remember the first time someone new was interested in us. That stage is fun and exciting. But think back. At that time you used phrases like “I think I'm interested in her,” or “I’m kind of interested in him,” or “they might be interested in me.” It wasn’t sure. It wasn’t definite. You may not have been officially dating. You certainly weren’t engaged. And you definitely weren’t headed to get married.
Why? Because interest can either grow or wane. We’ve all dated that person that became more and more interesting as time went on. And we have all dated that person that we lost interest in. Our goals can be just like dating.
As you look back on this year, did you lose interest in your goals? Did what seemed so important to you at the beginning of the year wane in interest as the months went on? Many of us seemingly were just dating our goals, on again - off again as it were, throughout the year.
Being interested in your personal and business goals just isn't enough. There is just too much that can come between you and your goals. It’s no different than dating. Time can be a distraction. Other interests can be a distraction. Other attractive and shiny things can be a distraction. Freedom can be a distraction. Frustrations and failures can be a distraction.
When we are just interested in a person or are just dating that person, it's too easy to hit the eject button. Too easy to break up. Too easy to walk away and look for what’s new and exciting. We haven’t given ourselves a reason to stay.
We lose interest.
Now, when we are committed to another human being, things are different. We eventually show our commitment to another person by getting engaged to that person. Often the outward demonstration of that engagement and commitment is marriage.
Once married to another person we commit ourselves to working through problems that arise. We don’t just walk away when things get tough. We don’t give up at the end of the first quarter or half-way through the year. We are willing to be creative, forgiving, flexible. Some days things go perfectly. Other days nothing goes right. We don’t toss out a marriage simply because something more fun or exciting or easier comes along. Marriage is harder than dating or just being interested in someone. It takes commitment.
Find commitment.
Stop dating your life and get a diamond already.
If you are married to your goals you will achieve them. If you are just dating your goals, well, I assure you, this year especially, you probably tapped out. 2020 was an easy break-up.
We need to give ourselves permission to be obsessed with our goals, whatever they may be - health, wealth, relationship, spiritual. Avoid balance. Be obsessed.
What relationship is amazing if you just kind of care? If you just are somewhat interested? If you just are always balanced? Don’t you want to be obsessed with that other human, and they with you?
Your goals should be no different. Who wants to work with someone who thinks it just might be cool to build something? Who just has some interest in the plan? Eliminate everyone around you that is “interested” in what you are building. You have to be surrounded by those that are committed to what you are building. Remember, people lose interest.
When you’re obsessed and committed you’re willing to give up whatever is needed in order to stay in it.
Angela Duckworth says, “When you turn your back on commitment, your effort plummets to zero.”
As you look back over the past ten months and look ahead to the next twelve, don’t allow your effort to plummet to zero based on your commitment level.
It’s time to buy the ring. It’s time to make the proposal. It’s time to say the vows. It’s time to get married.
It's time to lose interest and find commitment.
Chris