A Letter from Chris Suarez
IT’S AN AND
Life is about “and’s” and not “or’s”. Too often we think we have to choose one thing over another. We tend to choose one side over another, one team over another, one company over another, one friend over another, one party over another. That false belief of the second option being the inferior option can cause friction and division and unnecessary conflict. It can also limit our own possibilities. Instead of believing that we can choose Option 1 AND Option 2, we make a choice and then eliminate all other options. We commit to “either-or”, unknowingly eliminating the “and”.
When I got married, I never thought I’d love someone as much as my wife. And I didn’t want to. Then I had my first daughter. I realized that love allowed for an “and”. I could love my wife and I could love my daughter. I didn’t need to choose. Then I never thought I’d love a little girl as much as I did Kelanna. And then we had our second daughter. I felt the same love for Kaililly that I had felt for our first. Once again, I realized that love is an “and”. It was a lesson for me.
I am an all-in type of person. That has at times led me to make a choice, throw out all other options, and go 100% into that choice. The commitment may have been admirable, but the elimination of all other options is a mistake. This processing stemmed from very early. I was raised with a very clear compass of right and wrong. I stand by that compass and continue to follow it. It led to me being a black and white individual. But that doesn’t immediately eliminate the grey. It doesn’t mean there aren’t times where both decisions could be and are correct.
Where in your life have you given yourself false ultimatums? Where have you convinced yourself that because you chose one option, all other options are bad choices? Remember, your selection of one option doesn’t negate value in a second option. How do you feel when someone else hands you an ultimatum? It never feels quite right. Yet, too often we hand them to ourselves and build beliefs and futures around them.
Where does that show up in business? Growth in business typically shows up after adopting a philosophy of “and”. In contrast, businesses begin to contract after adopting a philosophy of “or”. Building doesn’t require eliminating all other options. Even in the case where an option is wrong, there is learning in failures and mistakes.
Even when someone else chooses an option that we didn’t or wouldn’t choose, there is something for us to learn. Collaborating with those that think and choose differently leads to ensuring that a win-win culture stays at the heart of what you do. Being more flexible with ourselves and with others allows us to live in the “and”.
Chris