A Letter from Chris Suarez
TIME IS A MEMORY
This week so many in the United States took time off of work, school, and routine to eat a meal and spend some time with family, friends, loved ones, and even those that may have needed some family, friends, or some love.
Collectively many felt relaxed, they felt connected, they felt grateful for the people in their world. They experienced laughter and joy and time seemed to almost slow down. They were able to do things they enjoy with people that they enjoy being with. Some watched football or movies, some cooked and ate, some read books or hiked.
Unpackaged, it is the experience of “time freedom” that allows people to do things that they want to do, but also provides freedom from things they don’t want to do. It allows our perception of time to slow down. We experience time differently. The perception of having more time actually causes us to feel like we are more in control of the time itself.
Laura Vanderkam, author and time expert, has done incredible work with time study - finding that although people consistently say they want more time, what they really mean is that they want to create more memories. Interestingly though, as we begin to spend time on things we would choose to spend it on, we become in our mind the kind of person who has the time to spend on these things.
As you choose to spend uninterrupted time with your children, or choose to eat a meal with loved ones without interruption from phone or email, we confirm in our minds that this is who we are. We are the type of person that blocks out time for that meal or blocks out time for that movie with the kids or blocks out time to read that book. We are the type of person that has the time and makes the time.
Now think about how you felt during those moments and ask yourself why we don’t create them more consistently than once a year, or on a predetermined day of the year. Happiness is tied to the level of human connection we have in our life. Engineering every day and every week with meaningful human connection with family, friends, and loved ones is central to human happiness and a sense of grounding.
As I saw photos of friends and coworkers, read posts and received texts, I couldn't help but wish this was an every week occurrence for them. Instead of a system or a country giving them permission to have this experience, I wished for this to be their design. Left unexamined, it would be easy to have to wait an entire year to see this again.
Not to be left unsaid, this week some felt small or even large holes that special people used to fill, but were no longer there to do so. They have passed away or moved on since this time last year. The absence of their presence created a bit of sadness or emptiness. That feeling is normal and healthy and an opportunity for us to ensure that we are creating the memories we want to have with those still here to create them with. As we live this way, the future holes will be filled with memories.
Don’t wait for another year or another annual event to allow you to create that memory. Take ownership of your time. Create that tonight for dinner, or tomorrow morning for breakfast, or this weekend… and every night and every morning and every weekend. Create rhythms of connection with family. Create rhythms of activity with friends. Create rhythms of downtime for thinking and learning. Create rhythms of time freedom.
Don’t leave your time freedom up to a country, or culture, or holiday to determine.
Chris