A LETTER FROM CHRIS SUAREZ

RYAN HOLIDAY: I LOVE YOU, But…

This morning I woke up before the sun did to get out on the lake while it was still. I was out there before any other kayakers, boarders, or boats showed up. Halfway across the lake I was enjoying the breeze, the water, the two eagles that occasionally would swoop down from the trees lining the lake, and the Ryan Holiday podcast I was listening to. Every so often I’d stop and voice text a few notes from the interview as I usually do while listening to podcasts. 

And then it hit me. I came out here to disconnect. It was Saturday morning at 6AM. The family was asleep. I didn’t need to be anywhere. No one needed me. I was looking to get just a couple hours alone. I was looking forward to the white space, some head clearing time, some exercise, and some quiet. And unconsciously I had brought Ryan Holiday along. Without giving it much thought, I was going to use the time to learn something. Which turned into taking notes for a project I was working on and leaving myself a voice memo of few things I could use for a future coaching call. Perhaps a noble enough thought, but not at all the purpose of the morning. Was I enjoying my time? Yes. But part of the enjoyment was based on me feeling like I was accomplishing something while on the paddle board.

I silenced the podcast, took a couple obligatory photos, and then turned off the phone. Sorry Ryan Holiday. I love you, but I had to turn you off. For the rest of my time on the paddle board, I was in silence. Running through my mind however was what had just happened. I realized that almost all of my long runs included podcast learning as well.

I couldn’t help but think about the study done by the University of Virginia where students were told to sit in a room alone for 15 minutes. They were given a button that they could push at any time that they wanted to leave the room before the time was up. The button would deliver an electric shock in exchange for not having to sit with their own thoughts for 15 minutes. 67% of men and 25% of women opted for the shock instead of 15 minutes of silence. I had read and even taught this study many times before. Suddenly as I sat on my paddle board, for the first time, I wondered if I would have been in the 67%. 

Many of us experience a constant drive to accomplish things. We like to use any time we have to knock stuff out, get things done, add a brick to what we are building. If there seems to be a block of time that is unfilled or unscheduled we like to fill it or schedule something. We are raised to believe that inactivity is a sign of laziness. If we aren’t moving the ball down the court or moving the needle on our goal, then we are wasting time. This could be as simple as filling our drive time with something worthwhile or filling our minds with information while working out or running. Research shows that downtime or whitespace leads to higher effectiveness in the workplace and in life. In a way, it clears out the ideas that have been stuck in our head. It gives space for new ones to enter. This “downtime” improves our memory, decreases emotional reactions, can build compassion and empathy, and lowers anxiety.

I am certain that a part of my love of reading stems from the feeling of learning something new in my “downtime”. Perhaps I need to start watching a Netflix series or catch up on 90’s movies I never watched. Or just spend a little more time out on the paddle board, in the middle of the lake, with nothing but my own thoughts.

Chris Suarez