A Letter from Chris Suarez
I Pinky Promise You…
All of us at one time or another probably found ourselves out on the playground at recess making a promise to a friend by locking pinkies. Kids across the country have been making “pinky promises” since the mid 1800’s. They’ve made promises to friends, to enemies, to parents, and everyone in between. It is said that the “pinky promise” originated in Japan where it is known as “yubikiri.” The literal translation means “finger cut-off.” It apparently is not as innocent as it may seem. It was based on the fact that when someone in Japan broke the “pinky promise”, they had to cut off their pinky finger.
As morbid as that may seem, there could be some hidden value for all us to take away. As it turns out, keeping promises is the secret behind all high performance and all high performers. Adding a bit of motivation, in the form of finger retention, drove commitment and led to an expected result.
In his New York Times best-selling book High Performance Habits, Brendon Burchard shares that one of the key characteristics of all high performers is “having necessity”. They have created a habit around necessity. We show up every day because we need to, at times not because we want to. It is raw need that drives human performance.
And therein lies a challenge for many. Although most of us may want more, we really do not need more. Making a few more dollars isn’t a need for most, it’s a want. And so it is easy to settle into a rhythm of average, of stasis, of good enough. And yet, all high performers across multiple industries consistently showed up with a “need”. Where does this come from?
Well, keeping both of your pinkies is definitely more of a need than a want! It is what drove us to keep the promises made, even as school-age children. Ultimately though, it was based on making a promise to another human, sealed with a physical display of commitment.
One of the powerful lessons here, is that we will always show up being more willing to keep a promise to another person than we show up keeping a promise to ourselves. Why? Because we “need” very little individually. Once we have met our few physical needs, we tend to slow down or give up when things get difficult.
In his book, Brendon tells us about keeping a sticky note at his desk that he looks at every morning with the simple question “Who needs my 'A Game' today?” Why is that so powerful? Because even when we personally may lack for nothing and need nothing, there are those around us that need us to show up and deliver our “A Game”. Humans will always drive harder to deliver on promises they make to others than driving towards the promises they make to themselves.
Make promises to those that matter to you. Make promises to those that need them. It will benefit you as the promise giver, and benefit those around you as the promise receivers.
One of the most noble roles you can play in this world is being a promise keeper. You will wake up energized every morning to deliver on the promises you made to others - others that need you to show up and deliver on those promises. Being needed brings purpose, passion, and peace. A purpose and passion and peace that is unattainable by delivering on promises only to ourselves.
Where basic need and personal promises leave off, promises and commitments to others pick up. Someone in your life right now needs your “A game”. Someone in your life right now needs a promise.
Feeling a little lost? Feeling a little unmotivated? Feeling like you hit a plateau? Feeling stuck? Feeling a bit too comfortable?
Go.
Make a promise to your wife or husband today.
Make a promise to your children today.
Make a promise to a friend today.
Make a promise to your business partner today.
I wake up every day ready, willing, and committed to delivering on the promises I have made to those around me. I look for partners to continue making promises to. Why? Because I intend to be a promise keeper. Those promises create drive. Those promises create energy. Those promises create a healthy need to show up in a big way to deliver every single day.
Chris