A Letter from Chris Suarez
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?
At times we get to look around and everything is firing on all cylinders. Things just seem to be going well and headed in the right direction.
Your business is growing. Your relationships are strong. Your health game is on point. The sun is shining every day. Your teenage kid seems to like you. Even the dog stopped chewing up your shoes.
Life is good. The apples are all in the cart.
And then…
Disruption. That can come from any part of your world. Any one of the apples can fall off the cart. Worse yet, maybe someone upsets the entire apple cart.
Maybe the business slows down or hits a bump. Maybe the clouds roll in. Maybe your teenager decided Minecraft is more fun than a hike with you. Maybe the dog chews up the new Nikes.
Disruption can easily lead to disappointment.
I was recently asked what my biggest challenge has been in growing a business over the past two decades. Many began to run through my mind. But as I really thought about what the most difficult challenge has been, it came down to that word, disappointment. More specifically, the biggest challenge has been disappointment in people. In a meaningful and purposeful life, there will always be people. Lots of imperfect people - just like you and I. At times people can really disappoint us - in how they treat you, in who they eventually show up as, in what they say or what they do, in how easy it is for them to walk into and then out of your life.
What is at the root of disappointment? It’s defined as “sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.”
Well, first it seems as if most disappointment could be avoided or prevented if we have open communication around what our hope or expectations of each other are. Second, it seems as if some of that disappointment could lie squarely on our own expectations of others. And third, we’ll never hit 100% of hope realized. Some disappointment is a given. As you grow your business you will have to allow more people into your world. And this simple fact means that if it hasn’t happened yet, one day someone will disappoint you. You will feel hurt, upset, angered, betrayed, perhaps even bitter.
When a business relationship doesn’t turn into what you had hoped for, when someone falls short of the expectations, or worse, if that person surprises you, shocks you, leaves you, or hurts you, it’s easy for that disappointment to slide into discouragement.
Disappointment can lead down the dark path of discouragement.
Those two emotions are wildly different. By definition, discouragement is “a loss of confidence or enthusiasm; dispiritedness.” In two decades of building, there have been countless disappointments. There have been plenty of expectations, milestones, or goals that I have missed. There have definitely been disappointments in people. And when people disappoint us that can easily slip into discouragement. People disappointment can break our confidence. People disappointment can destroy our enthusiasm. People disappointment can lead to us becoming dispirited. There-in lies the danger.
If we understand that people at times will disappoint us, then we give ourselves that fighting chance to avoid discouragement when it happens. We’ve set the right internal expectation. At first glance this may seem pessimistic or “half-empty” - neither of which is true. It is our hedge against discouragement. It is our shield against allowing anyone to break our confidence, reduce our enthusiasm, or dispirit us. Believe the best in everyone, yes. That is your mental framework. But layer in the reality that disappointment will be part of the journey.
Disruption is a given.
Disappointment is natural.
Discouragement is destructive.
Wake up every day excited to partner with great people, build with great people, serve great people, and win with great people. Know certain days will bring with it disruption on that path. Know certain days will bring with it some unexpected disappointment. Choose to not allow that disappointment to turn into discouragement. Perhaps an apple falls out of the cart. It’s ok. Keep pushing that cartful of amazing apples.
Chris