A LETTER FROM CHRIS SUAREZ
DIAMONDS ARE NOT FOREVER
Turns out, that’s a myth. They aren’t. Now don’t worry. No need to immediately check your engagement ring setting, grab your earrings, pick up your pendant, or rush to your jewelry or safe deposit box. Under normal pressure, diamonds will degrade slowly. Usually that process would require a little heat and could actually take millions of years - if not billions of years. Diamonds though, would slowly degrade back to graphite. For conversation sake then, most people would be ok with saying that diamonds are forever. That diamond on your finger will be around for at least as long as your lifetime and a few future generations.
How could a diamond break down? Well each carbon atom in a diamond is bonded to four neighboring carbon atoms and packed tightly into a three-dimensional grid. If the atoms in the diamond were to begin to rearrange and relax into a lower energy state, it would begin to slowly degrade. It sounds to me like the atoms just gave up. They lose their energy. They didn’t stick together. Why? Well, it typically takes increased pressure, high heat, and time.
I couldn’t help but think how similar to diamonds our businesses are, our partnerships are, and our relationships are. Over time we might give up, succumb to the heat, or tire of the pressure.
As I thought about that incredible stone that can stand the test of time for millions of years, I imagined that carbon atom latching on to those other four carbon atoms incredibly tight. In our relationships - whether personal or business - those four others atoms, or characteristics, seem obvious:
Trust
Communication
Work
Mission
Trust is a byproduct of consistency. If we are consistent in how we act, in what we say, how we respond and treat others, and how we show up, trust will naturally form. It is built over time by showing up the way our business partners or friends expect us to show up.
Communication strengthens relationships and businesses as it reinforces our beliefs in each other. Communication will always keep the energy in the partnership high. Clear, consistent, positive communication will keep those atoms clinging to each other tightly.
Anything worth anything requires hard work. That is true in business and in our relationships. It takes effort and energy for a relationship to last. We can’t relax the effort we put into a relationship and expect it not to change. Just as a diamond will physiologically begin to break down when the energy in the atoms begins to drop, so goes any of our relationships or even our business.
A mission is nothing other than a shared future. A shared mission will always keep us moving forward together. If two people no longer share a future or align on a mission, the relationship will break. If a business does not consistently share the future with its people, the culture will slowly degrade and those atoms - or people - will begin to break apart.
A diamond will last a lifetime. A relationship should be able to as well. But unfortunately, it won’t last with two out of four, or even three out of four of those characteristics. We need a four out of four here. We need to build trust, communicate consistently, work hard, and be mission driven. When the energy into a relationship declines, the atoms begin to break apart.
Now there is no easy way to build a meaningful business or maintain a meaningful relationship. But humans are great at looking for shortcuts. It is no different when it comes to diamonds. It takes sifting through up to 176,000 pounds of dirt to find a real single carat diamond. That single carat diamond most likely took some billions of years to develop under extreme pressure. Now, humans have figured out how to grow diamonds in labs. But don’t be fooled. Although quite pretty and almost impossible to distinguish between a real diamond with the naked eye, the lab-grown diamonds will not have any lasting value. A one carat diamond can be grown in a lab in less than a month. With little time invested into its creation, don’t expect long term value to be there.
The same can be said for a real relationship or even building a real business. You can’t fabricate or falsely engineer a quality relationship. You can’t grow a legacy business in a petri dish.
So be willing to move the 176,00 pounds of dirt to build and maintain that genuine relationship. Be willing to withstand the extreme pressure that you will undoubtedly face. And be willing to invest the time that it takes to prove this blog post title wrong.