A Letter From Chris Suarez
A LITTLE LESS FRICTION, A LITTLE MORE FLOW
Nope, not an Elvis song from 60’s.
But everybody would welcome a little more flow into their world. When we find our flow state, we are present. We allow ourselves to be where our feet are. Achieving flow allows us to be more creative, more productive, and happy. So what steals that flow? What do we need to avoid?
Friction.
Friction is defined as:
The resistance that one surface or object encounters when moving over another
Conflict or animosity caused by a clash of wills, temperaments, or opinions.
The two areas of our lives where friction can present the biggest challenges? Our priorities and our relationships.
Priorities
Competing priorities will lead to friction. When we find ourselves being pulled in more than one direction at any time, it will eliminate our ability to get into a flow state. Instead, we find ourselves struggling with what choices to make, how to manage our time, and dealing with guilt around what we accomplished in the time set and allowed. Ensure that you don’t have priorities competing for your time and for your attention. When that occurs friction not only creates resistance in your daily rhythms, it breaks your mental and emotional commitment to what you are presently working on. The “clash of wills” creates substantial conflict. The competition between priorities will pull you out of the present moment. We often see this within our work life. However, too often we have designed our work life to compete with our personal life for attention, which leads to massive friction between those two worlds.
Relationships
At the root of all relationship friction, is uncommunicated and thus unmet expectations. Anytime we aren’t clear what we need from each other - friend, coworker, partner, spouse - then we end up missing the opportunity to bring meaning and value into someone else’s life. One party is waiting for or expecting something that the other party may be completely unaware of, unable to perform, or unwilling to commit to. This week I spent some time with a partner that uses the phrase “speak your truth”. That expression isn’t intended to simply mean, “tell it how it really is.” Rather truth eliminates friction. You speak your truth and they speak their truth, and it greases the relationship with trust and clarity.
Friction oftentimes comes from lack of attention, lack of maintenance, and lack of consistent or forward movement. Think of any machine. Over time rust can build up as the iron particles have been exposed to oxygen and moisture. Hydrous iron oxide is formed and causes friction to the point of breakdown. Keep those priorities cleaned and oiled and cared for. Do the same for those relationships, especially around expectations and truth.
By eliminating friction you open the door to flow.
Chris
